Frank Mulligan: Did that squirrel look nervous?

There are many folksy ways to forecast the weather that are little known outside circles where people use words like “folksy.”

The old folksy ways of doing things are often the best, except perhaps in the areas of medicine, transportation, communication, education, infrastructure, public health, technology, hygiene and food preparation.

The modern dissemination of many of these folksy weather-predicting ways has been suppressed by an international cartel made up of TV meteorologists and officials with the National Weather Service.

They think they’re so smart.

But when it comes to predicting whether a “hard winter” can be expected, I’ll stick with the methods perfected before eggheads brought “science” into it.

Here are just a few of these folksy methods, recommended to be employed during the fall season. They’re not recommended for use after winter has fully set in. At that point you should be able to tell simply by observing whether you are covered with layer upon layer of snow and ice.

• Closely observe the squirrels. If they seem anxious and wear expressions of concern, you should prepare for a difficult winter. If, however, they seem relaxed and wear expressions of cool confidence, winter will be mild.

• Keep track of the movement of earth worms on your property. This can be facilitated by giving the various worms names, like Slinky or Brownie. Check how they are interacting with their peers. If they’re sluggish, expect a difficult winter. But if they have a certain verve in their manner of burrowing, conditions should be mild.

• Carefully examine the entrails of a bird. If this makes you want to throw up, expect a harsh winter. If, however, you enjoy the experience, you should probably seek counseling.

• Check if there’s any moss growing around the trees on your property, particularly Spanish moss. You can distinguish Spanish moss from other ethnic mosses by its accent. If the moss is growing on the north side of the tree, the winter will be long and harsh. If it’s growing on the south side, winter will be short and mild. If it’s growing all around the tree, it’s anybody’s guess.

• Consult a map and figure out where you live. If you live in Anchorage or the Arctic Circle, expect a bad winter. If you’re located in Santa Domingo or the Amazon, a tough winter can be safely ruled out.